Monday, September 20, 2010

The Brooklyn Theory

Ok so I think Bluz is the originator of this idea, or theory rather, but it is called the Brooklyn Theory

The first thing you must know is that this is not made up…what you need to understand is that this is a tried and true hypothesis that has formulated itself into an actual theory. We, the members of Rockstars on standby, (will explain later) have been testing this theory out for over 2 years and it has always yielded the same results.

The theory goes like this: No matter where in the world you are, if you get enough people in a room, someone there will be from Brooklyn.

That’s it, that’s the theory, and it is TRUE!!

This is how we began to test the theory, whenever we went on the road to gig, we would always at some point in our show, say something like “where Brooklyn at” or who in here is from Brooklyn” and every time without fail there would be someone in the building from Brooklyn.

I have done this in Miami, Detroit, LA, San Fran, Texas, Orlando, and the list goes on. I know what you’re thinking go to any major city and someone is bound to be from NY, big deal, but I have also done this in Knoxville, Modesto, Richmond, Jacksonville, Chesapeake, and a city that is so obscure I cannot even remember the name right now, it does not matter where you are someone there will be from Brooklyn, I honestly think there is someone from BK right now creating a business plan for a corner store on the moon…

So in April of 2009, we conducted one of the most important tests to date of the BK theory, we took the Brooklyn Theory international.

I was doing a show in London, I thought to myself, ok I am about to disprove the Brooklyn theory, surely no one in this small poetry club, in the basement of a bar, on the eastside of London, on a Sunday night is from Brooklyn…So I say

Anyone one here from Brooklyn, a moment of silence, I thought...I finally broke the theory, I was already trying to figure out how to break the news to Bluz, when out of nowhere, all the way from the kitchen this dude went…Buk!, Buk!...

At that moment all of the tireless nights of research, all the data gathering and analysis, all of the scientific journals, and academic criticisms…. it was all worth it, I had proven the Brooklyn theory in an entirely different country.

I was like YO…what are you doing in London?…

He shrugged his shoulders, and said simply “I’m Cooking son!”

And there you have it; the Brooklyn theory.

Bluz can go into more of the granular details but the general hypothesis is based on several factors

1. There are an inordinate amount of people in Brooklyn

2. Because just as many people hate it, there are also an inordinate amount of people that have left Brooklyn

3. Because it is somewhat of an iconic place, if you’re from anywhere in the vicinity it is popular to falsely represent….everyone knows the guy from say, Albany, who did like a two month youth program in BK when he was 12 ,and now he claims Brooklyn when he is around people that don’t know any better.

4. Because people from NY are from all over the place, so naturally people all over the place are from NY, and, because of number 3 more of those non-natives will claim Brooklyn as oppose to, say queens or Long Island.

There are some more nuisances but I will stop here.

So there you have it folks the Brooklyn theory, the reason I am writing this now is because….drum roll…you guessed it, the theory proves to be true here as well…

So here I am in Sydney, and the other day I was thinking I probably won’t be able to get any good soul food here, because of the lack of black culture. BUT after asking someone I met,

“Hey are there any soul food restaurants in Sydney” I was told these words exactly…

“Yeah there is a soul food spot here, it’s called south, the guy who runs it is from Brooklyn”

I’m thinking Get the f**k outta here, can’t be…but a quick Google search later I found it.

The restaurant is called “South” here are some items off the menu…

Blackened Fish of the Day – Crab Cakes - Smothered Chicken –Hot Wings – Ribs - Gumbo – Buktown Shrimp – Shrimp Creole – corn bread…..

Leave it to a dude from Brooklyn to move to Sydney, and open a restaurant called South! SMDH

I plan to go here real soon :)

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